Free As She'll Ever Be

If I could go back in time - I would go back exactly one year ago today & plead with Tara not to go into work early. Not today. Who knew she would fall asleep, who knew a semi would end her fate, who knew she would meet Jesus on this day.  I have so many "what ifs" and "I don't understands" - I know that everything works for the good of those who love the Lord, but I have so many unanswered questions. 

In deed, I understand the meaning of  "a friend being closer than a brother" .

Because in my life - there has been ONE.. .. . and her name was Tara Nicole Goolsby. 

Nobody really understands why I'm not over her death, they think by now it's old news, that I should get over it. But she was my bestie from the time I was born - we went through everything together. She was one of the only people that truly believed in my dreams as much, or more, than I did.  We were truly sisterly soul mates.

I am so afraid to get older without her here with me. I'm afraid of forgetting....her.

So, I'm going to list things that describe her - so that one day, when I can't remember - I wont be able to forget.

Tara is:

Loving, kind, full of life, cheerful, head-strong, loyal, witty, reliable, hard-working, gentle, influential, silly, trusting, comforting, charming, honest, unselfish, thoughtful, understanding, focused, helpful, easy going, good listener, encouraging, genuine and beautiful.

   

Now you are free as an eagle ~ Free as you'll ever be

Rest In Peace, Doll

~L

Babies & Beyond

So, I've been looking at kids that are in foster care for over a year. I fall in love over & over with the little ones that just want a mommy & daddy. There is a news channel out of Little Rock that actually shows videos of some of the children in Arkansas that needs a place to call home. So many people only want newborns, which I totally get for sooo many reasons, and the older kids are so much harder to place because they have a history & siblings. I have to admit that I am smitten with a sibling group of 6...... I know what you're thinking. I have no business with 6 children, but they are so precious & they love each other so much. The children got to go play together for a day and they were having so much fun - because they live in 6 different foster homes. The youngest is 2 & has been in foster care his whole life. I understand that there are so many risks when getting children over the age of 4 or getting sibling groups - but my heart aches for any child that doesn't have a bedroom of their own, their own yard to play "cops & robbers", or a dog for them & them alone. 

I am just one of those people that would take any of those kids into my home & just "make it work" because everyone deserves a forever home & a family that loves them.

New plants for my garden!

If anyone knows where I can get some seeds for this fabulous plant, will you let me know? I sure would appreciate it!

Fashion is what you make it ~

Everyone has their own style - I have to admit that I have several!

I don't quite fit into one category in anything I do.  Even decorating our home, I love so many different styles that I can't  box it up in one - I like to mix, match & push things to meet their ultimate potential. I have to share with you the newest member of my hat collection - when i saw it, I had to buy it (and it was on sale)!

So, to my precious predictable friends - I love you - but the next time you see those hott pumps or that edgy necklace..... try them on - you may find out that you can't label your style either :)

Happy Birthday Doll ~

Today is Tara's 27th birthday. I have been filled with every emotion today & frankly I'm exhausted.

Each time I start to tear up, I feel so selfish because I hate living without her. I know that she is in heaven where she knows no sadness or pain - but I miss her. Time is such a cruel thing ~ it passes too quickly ~ and in time we seem to forget little details of memories that were so significant to us. One year ago, today, was one of the last times I spoke with her. My whole outlook on how things can change your whole life in a split second has changed. . . you never think they will ever happen to you.  So, please don't leave things disheveled in your life, if you love someone - tell them because they wont be able to hear you after they are gone. 

 

Dearest Tara,

I bought some fireworks for tonight & fully intend to get some Ben & Jerry's ice cream

just like we always did for your birthday every year. 

I miss you & love you ~ please keep the angel choir tuned up for when I get there 

Happy birthday doll ~ Lydia 

My Southern Draaawwl

I'm notorious for finding something that I absolutely love & then try to explain to Jared how much I "need" it.

I mean, I work hard & save as  I go - sometimes I need to splurge & buy something!

Well, much to my surprise, Jared mentioned my accent the other day. I had no idea I had one - let alone one that another southerner would recognize. But he convinced me that I have a little drraaawl in my voice when I talk when he used my famous line as an example. He thinks when I start a sentence saying  "I need a ......"  it sounds like I'm saying, "Anita".          - - - Did you just try to say it too? Ha ha!